Friday, January 19, 2007

Catching Up .....

So, I guess I’m not doing very well with this writing everyday thing. I always have been bad at it.

Any way, life goes on.

Since my last entry, several things have happened. First and foremost, I moved to Los Angeles, California finally. I live in West Hollywood and work in Santa Monica, which isn’t as far as you might think seeming how they are two cities within the city of LA. I work about a half hours drive from home on a good traffic day. I work at an Architectural Consulting firm as a Project Administrator, which is really a glorified receptionist. Some days it’s great, others, not so much. (It’s weird every time I use the phrase – “not so much” I think of the show ‘Mad About You’ and Paul Riser – thought I would put that silly little tidbit in there). I’ve been there a month and I feel as if I don’t much yet and they don’t trust me with any actual responsibility. Hopefully that changes and soon; I don't what I’ll do if it doesn’t, it pays really well and it has potential if they would just utilize my skills and strengths. My fellow co-workers are pretty nice but it seems they are cautious; my position has had 4 girls in it in the past year and 3 of them were temps so they haven’t really welcomed me into the fold, so to speak.

Any way, life is good most days, I haven’t really made any lasting friendships, but I also haven’t really tired. I go to the UCLA ward in the chapel behind the LA Temple. It’s very nice living so close to the Temple and no I haven’t taken full advantage to being so close. My ward is a combination of young married and first year UCLA students. Our Bishop (Loveless) is a great man. It’s weird I don’t really fit in there, but feel completely out of place in the family ward, but I keep going. It’s not the people; it’s the spirit I’m looking for. I’ve started reading the missionary handbook – ‘Preach My Gospel’. I’m going to try living as if I were a missionary with those same standards. I realize I should already be doing this, but I haven’t, so my making a game of it. My schedule will only change slightly but the contents of said schedule will be very different. I’m going to try to get up earlier so I can say my prayers, workout out at least ½ hour and then study the handbook with the scriptures, have breakfast, then get ready for work, go to work, come home, have dinner, and then study some more before going to bed. I think if I surround myself with good works and thoughts, it will make being righteous easier – I hope. I still have a hard time with it because I’m not doing everything I can and in my power like I promised I would. Things get out of control so fast sometimes that I don't catch myself until it's almost too late and I don't want that to happen again.

I also have selfish reasons -- I want a relationship with a man, I want to get married again, in the Temple, and I feel like I won't have the opportunity unless I am being the kind of girl (woman) that worthy LDS men want. I need to be who I want. Does that make sense??

Enough for now ; )

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