Wednesday, June 20, 2007

Daggers Slowly Cutting Me Up Inside and Out

Am I still the way I think I feel?
I’m wondering this now.
It seems less complicated now,
More surreal, less like reality.
More like the dream I keep having.
The dream I wanted to come true,
More than anything else.

How can I trust this new reality?
I’m staring at my new world
And I don’t recognize any of it.
I don’t know how I got here,
I can’t remember the steps.
Trust has never been my forte.

My worlds are colliding in my mind,
Balancing outside of me.
This is too real, too scary.
I’m finally getting what I’ve always wanted,
I just don’t know how.

Will it stay together and complete?
I fear not, it never has before,
The pieces always seem to come loose,
Apart and then lost.

The picture doesn’t stay the same,
Always changing, maybe that’s good.
I want to understand where my world is going.
I want to see the path before me,
All I can see is what’s behind,
Success and fortunate circumstances.

Friday, June 8, 2007

Mark Hoppus Wisdom ...

"The past is just the future with the lights on." --Mark Hoppus, +44, song 'Baby Come On'

Wednesday, June 6, 2007


So, I think of you all the time, can’t seem to clear your image.
I wonder if you’d want to know me the way I want to know you.
It seems so crazy the way I obsess.
The voices keep you going, keep you alive.
Will they ever die, will you ever go away?

It keeps me from living, from breathing on my own.
Somehow, I’m still here even without you.
 Can you breathe without me?
Of course you can, I don’t affect you the same as you do me.

You haven’t seen me; you don’t know me at all.
You see, we’ve never met except in my head.
If we were in the same room, would you notice me at all?
I doubt it, I blend to easy, no different than all the rest.

I hope this doesn’t scare you, but I admire everything you do.
I wish I knew you, then, maybe I could get you out of my head.

Maybe you would disappear from my thoughts, my dreams.

Or maybe you’d love me.Maybe tonight when I dream, you won’t be there
and I can wake up happy, instead of in a state of
longing for someone I can't have -- could never have.