Wednesday, August 15, 2007

What a Crazy Dream ...

I have to write this down, it really freaked me out. It was really weird. It was a sensation like I couldn't wake up. I felt like I was conscious but wasn’t. I thought I could here my roommate Stacey saying things – “She’s having a seizure or something, she’s thrashing and won’t wake up.” "I can't get in, the door is locked."I could feel my arms moving and hitting the wall and I was kicking and trying to yell out Help! But I wasn’t making any noise, my mouth wouldn’t open and let out the sound though and my arms weren’t actually moving, it just felt like they were.

Somehow my door was locked or something because she said she couldn’t get in. I kept telling myself to “just wake up”, “just open your eyes”. I couldn’t though, it was like my brain was wide awake but my body couldn’t respond. It almost felt like what it would be like to be in a coma. When I did finally wake up, I woke up really slow. I didn’t believe I was awake. I woke up thinking about the dream and realizing that’s what it was because when the memory flooded my mind I had been in a bunk on a bus, a really small space. I laid there for a few minutes trying to get my bearings, I didn’t want to go back to sleep.

Now that I think about it, I have these claustrophobic dreams quite often; I just don’t always remember them. I have this one that is a recurring. I am in a room that is filled to capacity with either people or pillows or something I can’t tell what it is. I’m at the opposite end of the room from where the door is and I can’t get to the door. I try to move and I’m stuck in my place because I am crammed in so tightly, I can’t move. I get really high anxiety and really scared. Then I wake up, having never gotten to the door.

This is why I have never been to a concert and in movie theaters, I always sit at the very top. So I can see the door and the easiest exit route.

I just needed to write that ^^ down!
Wow! I really am crazy!

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