17 Things To Expect When You Date A Girl Who’s Used To Being On Her Own

Another this gem on Thought Catalogue:

1. Expect her to do her own thing often and without letting you know, at least at first. It’s not that you don’t matter; it’s just that she’s learned to love doing what she wants, when she wants, and without asking permission or informing anyone.

2. She’ll probably want to take things slowly because she’ll not be used to all the attention. Don’t think she doesn’t like you enough, she probably likes you a lot; it’s just all new to her.

3. Expect her friends to be overprotective of her and to be suspicious of you at first. They’re not used to her being with someone and they’ll want to make sure you’re the kind of guy who will treat her well.

4. She’ll have a hard time letting you do things for her. Try not to take this personally. She’s just used to taking care of herself and it’ll be hard for her to live in a world where she’s got someone else looking out for her in that way.

5. Expect her to be stubborn, to always want things her way, and to fight you when she doesn’t get it. Don’t always give in to her, but do let her win sometimes.

6. She needs to be left alone often especially when you first start seeing each other and it should feel like she’s head over heels. Believe that she has more butterflies in her stomach than she knows what to do with, which is why she’ll need to compose herself.

7. Expect her to pull away from you, especially when she realizes how much she likes you. She’ll come back to you but she’ll need time to think her feelings through.

8. She’ll question you, sometimes directly, sometimes implicitly, about your feelings for her. She’ll always want to know if they are real or if she’s making things up in her head.

9. Expect her to be headstrong. She’ll tell you, “I’ve got this,” more than you’ll want to hear. But she’ll get used to your offers to help. And in time she’ll know how to let go of the tight grip she seems to have on everything.

10. She’ll be guarded, and she won’t be keen on letting you in. She’s waiting to see if you’re patient, she’s waiting to see if you’re worth it. She’s hoping that you’re worth it.

11. Expect her to be stingy with trust, to only give a little bit at a time. But every time she gives you a little, it’ll feel like a big step for her. Cherish these big steps.

12. She’ll come across as strong, maybe too strong for you at first. But don’t be intimidated, this is her outer shell. And when you get to know her, you’ll know she’s strong but soft; tough but kind.

13. Expect her to be reserved, at least about the things that matter. Until you really get to know her. And then you’ll see the untamed, raw, and always beautiful open version of her that she’ll let you fully discover.

14. She’ll be slow with her vulnerabilities, and hide many of her weaknesses. And when she shows you them, she’ll feel naked. Clothe her with your words.

15. Expect her not to need you, and not to believe in needing much of anything at all. But she’ll want you. And when she does, it’ll be the most exhilarating feeling you’ve ever experienced.

16. She’ll be scared – scared to be hurt, scared to love, and be loved. Scared that you’ll eventually hurt her or leave her and if and when that happens, she won’t know who she was before.

17. Being alone is her default, it’s her comfort zone. But expect her to fall in love with you faster than she’ll admit and in a way that isn’t loud but still powerful; it’ll be like a little bit of heaven. And it won’t matter if you love her for a while or for a lifetime; her love will change both you and her forever.

20 Things You Should Know About Dating An Independent Girl

Found this gem on Thought Catalogue:

1. We need alone time. A little each day and more than a little on other days. It doesn’t mean we’ve lost interest in you.

2. We don’t mind if you don’t call or text us every second. We like it. We won’t be contacting you either. That said, if you’re late, don’t keep us guessing as to when you’ll show up as we’ll make other plans.

3. We can clean up our own messes. We’re not waiting around for you to fix our problems.

4. We are perfectly fine doing chores, running errands, and exercising by ourselves. If you want to join us, we’re glad to have you along, but don’t talk to us while we’re in the zone.

5. We sign up and attend charity events, races, and cultural exhibits on our own. We don’t need a date to feel comfortable at these things. Set us loose in a room with a bunch of people and we’ll have 10 best friends before the night is through.

6. If we have a sleep over, don’t expect me to cuddle you all night and cook you a hot breakfast. I will actually want to sleep and we can go out to the diner for brunch.

7. If we go to a party where it’s mostly your friends, I don’t need you hovering. I’m perfectly capable of chatting it up with endless amounts of strangers. I’ll even enjoy it. But don’t completely forget about me either as you’re probably my favorite person in the room.

8. We are comfortable paying our own way and will feel funny if you constantly insist on treating us. We don’t mind splitting restaurant bills with you. In fact, it makes us feel like we don’t owe you anything. We never expect you to pay for us or buy us gifts. If it’s not on a birthday or an anniversary, it feels like a bribe.

9. We will never ask you to lend us money. If we do, we feel odd and uncomfortable until we pay you pack.

10. We are capable of going to the bathroom by ourselves. But sometimes we just prefer the company of a friend.

11. We work because we want our own career. We’re not depending on you to be our sugar daddies. Don’t expect us to take a day off on a moment’s notice just because you bought tickets to a baseball game at 1 PM on a Tuesday. We have ambition and take pride in our work.

12. If you want to go watch football or to happy hour with friends, we’re cool with that. Actually, we prefer it, on occasion, because it gives us the chance to catch up with our own friends or spend the night catching up on our independent interests.

13. We know how to save money and are actively interested in planning for our own retirement. We know what a 401K plan is.

14. The idea of getting married sounds great with the right person. But we’re perfectly capable of taking care of ourselves if need be. We choose to be in relationship because we like you, not because we can’t live without you.

15. Sometimes, instead of a romantic partner, we secretly want to marry a cook / cleaning person / personal trainer / masseuse / stylist versus anybody else. If you happen to be one or more of these things, we will love you even more.

16. We like to fix things ourselves and will usually bring a step stool over to get things off of high shelves, even if you’re way taller.

17. We can be stubborn and adamant about handling things a certain way even if you’ve been through something before and want to give us advice. Forgive us. Let us try it our own way first, even if your intentions are good.

18. We get very frustrated with extremely needy, co-dependent people. This frustration may make us seem callous or icy, but it’s more about wanting to see people help themselves.

19. At times, we may seem so self-reliant, content and in control that you may wonder whether you’re needed in our lives. You are. We are confident and directed but cherish someone who appreciates, rather than fears, these qualities.

20. We still love a big hug, lots of affection, and to be told how much we’re loved. Tell us we look pretty every now and then and don’t let us shrug it off. Independence will never trump the desire to feel adored. 

Homemade Ice Cream Making 101

So today I uploaded my very first YouTube video!! It's very exciting for me! 

I did a tutorial for making Homemade Ice Cream. If you know me at all - you know I don't really like being on camera or having my picture taken unless it's under my own parameters. However, for my Church calling, I was put in charge of a Christmas Recipe Exchange for our Christmas Faire. So I bit the bullet and created a video.
Here it is ... please be kind. It's grainy, fuzzy, and out of focus at times, but it's my first effort and I'm really proud of it!

Video

Here is the recipe if you feel so inclined to actually make the ice cream now that you know the basic:

Peppermint Ice Cream

8 Large Egg Yolks             2½ cup Heavy Cream

1 ½ cup Whole Milk         2 tsp. Peppermint Oil Extract, Real Stuff

¾ cup White Sugar           ½ cup Crushed Candy Canes

1 tsp. Salt

                 

*      In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg yolks. Set aside.

*      Fill a large bowl with ice cubes and put a smaller bowl on top with a mesh strainer on top. Set in the fridge to keep cold.

*      On the stove, warm the milk, sugar, salt, and peppermint extract in a medium saucepan. Stir until sugar is dissolved.

*      To make the custard, slowly pour the warm milk mixture into the egg yolks a Tablespoon at a time to temper the eggs until all eggs are incorporated.

*      Whisk constantly to avoid curdling, then scrape back into the saucepan.

*      Heat over medium heat, while stirring constantly with a heatproof spatula or wooden spoon and scraping the bottom of the pan as you stir in a figure Eight motion.

*      Continue to heat and stir until the mixture thickens into a custard and coats the back of the spatula.

*      Retrieve the Ice Bowl from the fridge and pour the cream into the top bowl.

*      Strain the custard through the mesh strainer and stir it into the cream.

*      Stir until cool over the ice bath.

*      Chill overnight in the refrigerator.

*      When ready to churn then freeze the custard in your ice cream maker according to the manufacturer's instructions.

*      Once the ice cream has frozen to a soft ice cream, transfer to an airtight container and mix in the candy cane pieces.

*      Freeze for at least 4 hours.

Insights from General Women's Conference 2014

These are the thoughts and insights I came away with after attending the General Women's Conference on September 27, 2014

Linda K. Burton: Temple Blessings ~ Peace & Comfort
We need to prepare to enter the Temple each time we go: We can receive a spiritual feast, we need to bring our "Lamp Oil" so we can learn of the Bridegroom. We need to keep our testimonies and faith bright like the Lamp of the Gospel. All laws of the Lord are drops of oil --> tithing, fast offerings, prayer, and scripture reading/studying ~ consistently! "Where much is required - much more will be given!" A higher level of obedience is commanded by the lord and required to receive the fulness of the Temple Blessings.

Jean A. Stevens: Daughters of God - Power of Covenants
Covenants connect us to God, they bring us Home to Him. Faithfully keeping covenants keep us on the Path to God. They identify us as disciples of Christ. The best way to keep a home safe is to stay faithful to our covenants. Every mighty change of heart matters to the Lord. 

Niell F. Marriott: Share the Gospel
Add the Gospel light to your life and the lives of others. We need more voices of Women and Sisters in the sharing of the Gospel  women have a circle of faith. We are the beautiful, bright beacons of Truth. God is light and we can continue in God. We can show and share with others. Truth shineth -Temples push back the darkness and enable us to come back to Christ's light. Turn to Christ - He is our only hope for salvation -- Except His plan for you and Come Unto To Him!

Dieter F. Uchtdorf: Daughters of God - Know Who You Are
You are a child of God - A Daughter of God - ALWAYS! Prepare for a future you cannot imagine. We must qualify for these blessings. Straight is the gate and narrow the pathway to God's kingdom. Obedience with all your heart, mind, and soul. We must obey all God's commandments, use the Atonement when needed, and choose His way! Embrace and Follow His commandments as best you can and when you fall short - use the atonement for forgiveness. Receive the shower of Heavenly blessings, Listen to the Divine counsel of the Gospel. The choice is Mine! Humble yourself, Stand as a Witness, Believe you can succeed, Motivate yourself daily. Attend Sunday meetings to renew your faith in God. 

God Loves me  - Even in my weakness - He Loves Me!!

So it's been a while ....

Life has gotten away from me a little and I haven't been writing/posting here. Not really a reason, except I've been on tumblr and Facebook, and other social media. Not having anything really exciting happening has also been a reason, as I feel like I have nothing to write about :(. HOWEVER -- here is a run down of changes which have happened in the last 6 months:

1. I changed church wards in March of this year. I am now going the the Family ward Santa Monica 2nd. The Mid-Singles ward was dissolved by the Church authorities. A shock but I was planning on changing wards any way, it just happened a little sooner. I really love my new ward and feel comfortable there. I know so many more people than I originally thought. The Bishopric is a really great group of leaders!! The R.S. Committee is awesome too, I'm an active member of the choir (of course!), and I've made really great friends and connections there. A real blessing!

2. With the ward change, I now have new callings, yes calling(S)!! I always seem to have at least 2 - they are: Relief Society Board as an Enrichment Committee member AND I am the Senior Nursery Leader. This seemed rather daunting when they first asked me. I have always felt ill-equipped in regards to Nursery aged children. I never really felt I had the patience for that age group or the creativity!! But I'm learning that I do, in fact, have both and just need to give myself to well deserved credit and STOP being so hard on myself!!

3. I've changed jobs twice. I was out of the job since October 2013, with a short stint at Anderson School of Business in the Executive Education Department in January. I got a position at Red Bull as a project assistant - which I really loved but they needed someone with extensive financial experience way beyond what I have. I was sad about this but understood my limitations quickly, so I wasn't surprised. I am currently at Marlborough School for girls as a Development Executive Assistant as a temp. They are a private Junior and Senior high school for girls. So far they haven't really trained me in much so I have a lot of down time (this seems to be a weird trend in jobs temp jobs I get - they seem really well fitted for me but they never really take off.) so I'm not sure where I'm going to end up. The commute is long, it's located in Hancock Park, which is about 9.5 miles away from my house, but it isn't a bad trip only two buses which take about an hour and I tend to get home at a reasonable time in the evening considering traffic!

4. I've had 3 new roommates since I wrote last, all in the same room! Vickie finally moved out (YEAH!!!), she was replaced by Lisa (What a trip she was!), then there was  Brooke - who was an interesting girl, very needy and not at all self sufficient for a 28 year old! Now I have Trammie - she is a jewel. She keeps to herself by choice as she is a Dental Grad Student - so she needs a lot of study time; she is respectful and clean naturally - just really great! Linda is still here although not really there - she sleeps at her boyfriends or on site she's working at, our apartment seems to be a "home base" for her stuff! But I have no complaints about this - I have the apartment pretty much to myself!

So that's it in a nut shell.

Chat soon ~ R

Ten Facts Men Should Consider About Their Wife!

#1 – Before she was your wife she was God’s daughter…and He is VERY concerned about how someone treats His girl!

#2 – Women are responders, so if there is friction/conflict in the relationship she is most likely responding to something that is off center…and it is going to take an actual conversation where you use words to figure out what it is.

#3 – If a man will not lead his family then satan will!  (See Genesis 3!)

#4 – One of the biggest questions that a woman is always asking of her husband is, “can I trust you with my heart?”  And the answer to this question  is not simply declared but rather demonstrated over time.

#5 – Every word you speak has meaning to your wife…and HOW you say those words carry even more meaning.

#6 – No woman responds well to condemnation…and if we are supposed to love our wives like Christ loves the church, and there is NO condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1) then we MUST watch our words carefully.

#7 – It is a spiritual impossibility for an angry husband to love his wife like Jesus loves the church.

#8 – Your wife LOVES to know you are thinking about her during the day.

#9 – Surfing the internet or playing games on your smart phone while she is sitting next to you on the couch is NOT romantic.

#10 – Pursuit must be intentional!  You did not accidentally fall in love…and you will not accidentally stay in love!

For the man I should marry ......

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1. Date a boy who makes you happy, but marry him only if he makes you laugh deep-belly rumbles that hurt your ribs as they expand outwards. Date him when he sees that you’re hurting and he gives you a moment to feel that pain like a handprint spreading across your consciousness, marry him only if he can make you smile even while you’re gross sobbing. The world is not a kind place. You will feel a lot of pain. Make sure you are with someone who makes it all bearable. Humor is an excellent gauge of intelligence. Life gets boring. Find someone who makes the banal interesting.

2. Make sure he has scars on the back of his hands, it’s a good sign he has experience either fighting or making things - creation is an act of selflessness and bruised knuckles are a good sign he knows how to defend himself. You’ve got too much soul to be handled by someone who has never been passionate. If he’s never thrown a punch, let him at least have tasted the insanity of bringing an idea into existence. Rough palms are better than soft ones, they have been salted by this earth and made into leather. Callouses are evidence he has lived, that he has broken skin and been in pain over and over and over again and still came back to the source of it. People rub against each other. Don’t marry him if he can’t handle even a little blister.

3. Before you say yes, get him angry. See him scared, see him wanting, see him sick. Stress changes a person. Find out if he drinks and if he does, get him drunk - you’ll learn more about his sober thoughts. Discover his addictions. See if he puts you in front of them. You can’t change people, baby girl. If they are made one way, it doesn’t just wear off. If you hate how he acts when he’s out of it now, you’re going to hate it much worse eight years down the road. You might love him to bits but it doesn’t change that some people just don’t fit.

4. Trust your instincts. If he ever makes you feel unsafe, don’t make excuses, just get up and leave. That’s all there is to it. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

5. If he puts money before you, he’ll keep pushing you to the bottom of the pile until you become his last priority. It’s one thing if he can’t afford what you want, it’s another if he has the cash but won’t spring for a box of chicken Mcnuggets. Money and love are arch enemies. 62% of divorces occur due to economic strain. Make sure keeping you is more important than his 401k.

6. How a man treats animals is a good indicator of how he treats children. If you see him raise a hand to a dog, pack your things into a little black bag. Animals at their worst are only half as annoying as a toddler on their best behavior. Your kids will be beautiful, but they will also misbehave. Same goes for waiters and hotel maids - if he’s rude to those who are working for minimum wage, it says a lot about how he sees himself. Patience is rare and so important. If he’s not forgiving to a dog, he’s not good for your kids.

7. If he isn’t in awe of you, he doesn’t deserve you. You are my little girl and you were born perfect. If he can’t see that, it’s his loss. There is someone who thinks your flaws power his heart. Be strong. If he asks you to change, be like rock of your birthstone, do not waver. You are wondrous just the way that you are.

Progress will be Seen!

Strength Training Benefits

Now is the TIME!

Lunch Suggestions

Positive Thoughts

Dreams ....

Natural Mood Enhancer

Worth 1 Hour

New Year New Me!

So it’s a new year and I’m starting a new lifestyle of healthy eating and exercise every day. So far I’ve done a 30 minute interval walking routine and 20 minutes of strength and circuit training …. and I feel awesome!!!!

I will be keeping track of changes in my body and size on Wednesdays. I’m calling it Wonderful Wednesday :)

I’ve been thinking about, obsessing actually, about this for years!!!! So this is my time - I’m doing it and I WILL feel better and be better!